A Dog’s Life

by Lynda Goetz   

There are currently a whole host of things to write about. I considered a number of them for my contribution to this month’s Only Connect. Should I write about the worrying rise of anti-Semitism; the attempts by the Labour government to bring in a blasphemy law by the backdoor with their committee discussing a definition of Islamophobia; David Lammy’s proposals to do away with jury trials for any offence for which the maximum jail time is less than three years; the concomitant plan to bring in digital ID; the damaging effects of Rachel Reeves second budget; the state of our universities; the declining mental health of our youth; Ukraine; Russia; China; the EU and current attempts to reverse Brexit?  The list is endless. However, having only recently been accused by a family member of “an offensive rant” on one of our family WhatsApp groups (followed by them effectively cancelling me by leaving the group, without any discussion, in protest at my “Fascist, racist” views), I decided that, as it was very nearly Christmas, it was perhaps time to avoid controversy and to address something less contentious.

As I do enjoy a good debate though,  I thought that maybe I could still provoke some discussion by raising the subject of ‘dogs versus cats’ as pets. Those who have followed my writings, both here and in the sadly-now-defunct Shaw Sheet, will know that I am most definitely in the dog camp. I own four of them (and frequently look after a fifth), which most people probably consider to be a rather excessive number.  I take the view that like children, once you get beyond a certain number – say two or possibly three – adding to them doesn’t really seem to increase greatly the workload or time spent. I would add though, that for larger numbers of either children or dogs, it is advantageous to have space, both indoors and out.

Cats, on the other hand, do not require you to have large amounts of space. They will happily avail themselves of other people’s space. So, provided your neighbours all have  even a small amount of garden or just a terrace with some pots, your cats have access to bird and small mammal-killing territory as well as ‘bathroom’ facilities, as the Americans might euphemistically put it. The only problem then is the number of other felines in the neighbourhood. Too many and your cat’s territory becomes restricted. This can lead to brawling. However, this is unlikely to cause you too many sleepless nights if yours is an ‘outdoor’ cat, as these unpleasantly noisy catfights will almost certainly not take place in your garden or on your backwall, but those of your neighbour six doors down. As you have probably never met them anyway and it is equally improbable that they will know which of the ‘pesky’ local cats belongs to you, you need not concern yourself unduly.

In contrast, should you lose track of your dog, you have a problem on your hands. At best he or she will reappear several hours later looking smug and generally very pleased with themselves. They have clearly enjoyed their unsupervised ‘walkies’ and know that they will be greeted, rather like the ‘Prodigal son’ with relief and joy rather than harsh words (you fear they may not want to come back next time if you shout at them and you are genuinely relieved they have not been kidnapped or run over). At worst, they have been run over or picked up by the local dog warden and you have to pay a not-insubstantial fine and charges; the amount depending on the local council in your area. In between these scenarios is the chance that someone has been reasonably sensible and taken the dog to the local vet who has read their chip and who will contact you, or possibly a kind neighbour has recognised your pooch trotting down the road or has read the phone number on their collar. For anyone to behave in the same way with a cat, the cat would have to look half-starved and seriously bedraggled or actually be injured. Cats are just allowed to do their own thing. No-one expects otherwise.

This independence is one of the things which appeals to cat owners. Unless you own one of the pampered cat breeds such as the ‘Ragdoll’, Burmese, Siamese or Persian cats, it is unlikely that you feel the need to take it for a walk. It will walk where it wants, thank you very much. All it expects from you is feeding at the appropriate times (unless it is a ‘farm cat’ or a ‘barn cat’ when its job is to kill the mice and rats and generally to survive without your intervention or attention at all) and possibly the occasional stroke, or lap time when it is in the mood. This usually has little to do with your mood or your need. You are merely there to service its needs when it requires.

Dogs are generally far more needy.  This is, to some extent, what appeals to many dog owners. Your dog needs you. It needs you, not only to provide food, but to take it for walks, to play with it and to love it – often. If you go out, for however short a time, the welcome on your return is enthusiastic, effusive, exuberant. You may have only been gone an hour, but you have been missed. Your return is a cause for joy, and jumping, even where this has been expressly discouraged. It has to be said that the welcome cannot really be greater if you are gone for a week or a month. This does rather lead to the conclusion that a dog’s idea of time, whilst accurate when it comes to time for food or walks or even lighting the fire, is rather ‘off’ when it comes to your absences. Any absence by you is excessive.

It is often said that dogs give you ‘unconditional’ love.  In my experience this is not quite accurate.  Dogs are as capable as children of temporarily withdrawing their attention or affection if you have displeased them. They will turn their head away or remove themselves entirely if you reach out to them.  These small ‘fallings out’ can usually be remedied by giving them a food treat of some sort, after which you can be friends again. Cats with their natural aloofness and sense of superiority know that they are always in charge of your relationship with them so any sulking by them will generally not be noticeably different from their usual behaviour.

I would conclude by saying that although clearly all of the generalities above do depend to some extent on the breed and temperament of dog or cat, owners of both are well aware of the beneficial effects on humans of their proximity to these animals. What is more, scientific research does actually back this up. Apart from the promotion of exercise for those who own dogs, as well as the psychologically calming and de-stressing effects of stroking your pets, recent research has apparently revealed an entirely unsuspected benefit for young people with dogs in the family. It seems that the almost unavoidable transfer of bacteria from dogs to humans alters the gut microbiota, leading to changes that can boost mental health and increase sociability. For me, that confirms the case in favour of the canines as opposed to the felines. However, there will be many who do not share that opinion. Let the debate continue!