Mind the Gap

by Stoker 

Hadrian's Wall above Sycamore Gap

Last time Stoker dwelt on the increasing danger of a British revolution. This time, we must admit that such an unthinkable event is, well, pretty much unthinkable. 

And the roots of this unrevolutionary thinking lie in the Romans, or at least the ruin of a wall that they left behind them, commissioned by the Emperor Hadrian to keep the Picts and the Scots out of peace-loving and rich England (as it then wasn’t).

In Stoker’s long ago past, not quite stretching back to Roman times, he worked in a Roman Museum, run by an amiable eccentric who told visiting school parties that the wall was built by the Scots to keep the Romans away from the haggis plantations; so convincingly that even their teachers half believed this by the end of their visit. 

But back to 2025, or in fact 2023, and to the roots that are the cause of this change of heart.  The roots of a sycamore tree, growing right up against Hadrian’s Wall, in a most scenic location in a gully, that forms, or at least formed, a most unforgettable image. This tree, you will learn from the media, has been growing there since Roman times, or maybe Norman times, or maybe since Robin Hood, or at least from Georgian times*; a splendid gnarled ancient specimen of a tree that symbolises the Wall, the fair county of Northumberland, and the great enduring spirit of England.   

But one dark and stormy night - 28th September 2023 - two wicked, not to say evil, no-gooders with a chainsaw crept up to the Sacred Sycamore and felled it with one clean cut; down it fell, onto the Wall itself. Next morning, the nation wept. And the police, faced with such callous cruelty and indifference to an historic tree and the wrath of the nation, rushed hither and thither and arrested a 16 year old local youth; and then his grandfather. Gotcha!  Or not, as it turned out; both were released without charge. 

So, the constabulary rushed about with even greater vigour as the nation held its breath, and arrested two more local lads, from near Carlisle (about 20 miles from Sycamore Gap). And in the last few days Newcastle Crown Court has witnessed the trial of the chainsaw massacrers, though they both denied it, or alternately, each blamed the other. 

Now, if you are the sort that thinks a sycamore tree is a rare and special thing, Stoker understands your agony; he really does.  He also thinks you are completely misplacing your splendid and no doubt deeply-held emotions.  Sycamores are probably the most common wild tree in the British Isles; the problem with sycamores is not to get them to grow, but to stop them growing.  They grow indeed like weeds, very large weeds, and they are not the most useful of trees, being tricky to make anything useful out of – being fast growing they tend to be weak and inclined to split and twist.  They do make rather spitty firewood and will keep toes toasty on a winter’s evening by the open fire or wood-burner (until the government bans such dreadful things, of course).

But the sycamore of Sycamore Gap was a very splendid item in the glorious landscape that surrounds Hadrian’s Wall, and the drama of that particular part is diminished by its passing.  Not for long, probably. The stump is already sprouting and within twenty years or so the gully should once again be Sycamore Gap. The National Trust has planted 49 sports from the fallen tree which are said to be flourishing, as insurance and a marketing opportunity. Assuredly, within fifty years it will be as though nothing had ever happened.  Because sycamores do grow very fast.  Indeed your correspondent knew this area in the 1970’s and can’t even remember that dramatic tree, and English Heritage coyly admits that the gully was not known as Sycamore Gap until the late 1980’s.  A retired Inspector of Ancient Monuments announced, as the trial of the Gap Two began, that he had a few years ago advised the tree be taken down as its roots would soon damage Hadrian’s Wall and its locus; and it might well eventually fall on the Wall itself. 

None of which, of course, means that anybody should go around felling other people’s trees, especially ones under which, no doubt, marital proposals have been made (and, romantically, let us hope accepted), picnics eaten, storms sheltered from, and a million photos taken and pasted in albums. 

The value of the tree was assessed for the trial at over £600,000 – the damage to the Wall at less than £2,000.  £600,000 for a tree that is not even great as firewood?  Well, no. That value is the assessed economic damage done by its disappearance, the net capitalised benefit to the area of the tourist spend from lodgings and teashops and whatnot.  Except of course what has actually happened is that the lost tree has hugely increased the number of visitors to their area and their spend, as they all make for the site of the awful crime and admire the brave little shoots springing from the stump. Which means that economically the dastardly duo and their chainsaw have done the area an economic benefit.  Ho-hum. The damage calculation was withdrawn during the trial so that presumably defence counsel could not use it as justification.

The trial ended on the 9th May with a jury finding the perpetrators guilty as charged and the judge delivering some harsh words as to this appalling act; the now convicts have to wait until early July before sentencing will be delivered. Maximum sentence is ten years in HM prison. This was indeed a sad and mindless act by two lads who were up to unthinking mischief.  It is however worth saying that the sycamore and its coterie of protectors, the National Trust which owns the land, English Heritage which protects the Wall, and the National Park Authority which is the planning authority, are not so popular locally.  The local farming and working population do not benefit from the tree tourism which brings a great deal of nuisance, trespass, and interference into quiet rural lives. After the tree was first felled there was some expressed support for the then unknown axmen who did the job.

But the most remarkable feature is the massive hullabaloo over a felled sycamore.  Popes have died and been elected, western politics are in chaos, the British party political system is collapsing (it seems), horrible murders take place, war is prevalent or breaking out in some locations.  But what really engages the emotions of the British public is an illegal tree-felling: the Daily Mail, a newspaper not normally mentioned in this column, has had hysterics of anger and grief throughout the trial; Saturday’s Times devoted all of pages 4 and 5 to the sorry tale.  No country which devotes such waterfalls of tears, such paroxysms of grief, such outpourings of anger (and a crown court trial over more than a week with judge and jury) over the illegal felling of a second-rate tree can possibly be at risk of revolution.  Trees, kittens, puppies, talent shows will always take precedence over marching and resistance.

So, perhaps we should be lenient with the Carlisle criminals; take away their chain saws and give them two weeks inside just to act as a warning to others.  We’re at heart a kindly nation as they have allowed us to demonstrate. Let’s show forgiveness and allow them to get on with their lives.

*The latest claim is that it was planted by John Clayton, town clerk of Newcastle upon Tyne in the second half of the C19th who became very rich through backing Richard Grainger, developer of modern Newcastle: Clayton spent much of his money buying up and conserving the ruins of the Wall.  It seems unlikely he would have planted a sycamore anywhere but you never know.